grammar crisis!


to write an lj entry.

Ok ok ok ok ok ok ok ok so: In middle school, my best friend was Julie. We never went to the same school, but we went to the same church, and we were INSEPERABLE. Like, completely. And then still to some extent in high school but we had started drifting apart by then, and really lost track of each other after that. A few years ago we get back in touch on FB, and HOLY CRAP SHE WAS EXACTLY THE SAME AND ALSO ENTIRELY DIFFERENT?! Like it's hard to explain but: ok.

Julie used to believe that evolution probably wasn't true and that the fossil record was probably a test from god.
Julie and I *both* believed that homosexuality was a sin, and I say that partly because I have no room whatsoever to judge her, right? We both had some really shit ideas. We were kids, it's what you do, and we were being told some very specific things at our church.
We both only listened to Christian music for a long time.
I don't remember some of her other weirder beliefs, but they were there. We were attached at the hip though, and for years it was her, me, and another girl, Angela. And then for a long time it was her, me, and her boyfriend Trevor. I had to be with the two of them all the time ("so we wouldn't have sex" she says matter-of-factly now).

Anyway tonight we saw each other for the first time in well over a decade. And it was great? My brain is a little bit complicated because there's just a lot to process but like, it was great. It felt like nothing had changed and no time had passed, but *everything* has changed. She has a kid! I'm a queer atheist! She's a Unitarian minister now! We both have gray in our hair!

When we got back in touch on FB, one of the first things I noticed was that she had a pride flag on her profile. She's completely supportive of every stripe of queer and trans folks, and she directly advocates for them in her position as a hospital chaplain. Her kid's only 2.5, but he sometimes says he's a girl and she's been pretty chill about that and letting him decide what he wants to do with it (male pronouns because kiddo changes this every week or so, and we'll see what happens). (He also told me about hydraulics tonight over a skype call. That is a VERY big word for someone who isn't even 3) We've talked a lot, and it's like, we used to have SO MUCH in common, right? And now we still do, but it's all entirely different stuff. Like somehow we seperately grew up very similarly. Weird, right? But also really cool? We had a really nice time and she told me all the things about the church culture in our hometown in Oklahoma, since she's back there now.

And that's where things get disturbing. Apparently a megachurch has pretty much taken over the state, and when we were kids that was something you only got in Texas, and we always used to make fun of them. Now this weirdo fringe group that was too conservative and weird for the Methodists (we were Methodist) has just, mushroomed out? And the minister at our church when we were in high school is still at our old church, which is weird as helllllll because normally the Methodist bishops or council or whatever will move people around way more than that. But he's making money for the church so they've let him stay way too long, and he keeps getting more conservative and now our old church is sort of culty. Which, my dad has never liked that guy, because he was the one who started getting our church into Promise Keepers, and dad was like "NOPE no absolutely not this is bad news bears" and now tomorrow I get to call him and be like "so you were SUPER right about that minister being bad news, well done there." And you have to understand, we had a youth minister that we dealt with more directly, but we were very close with our minister. We kinda worshipped him. Which makes the culty part make a lot of sense, right? He was fun and charismatic and went on all our mission trips with us. When my dad tried to tell me Promise Keepers was Not Cool I was like "well maybe Adrian just doesn't know, right?" but uh, no. When Julie was figuring out where she was going to go to grad school he went to her parents and told them that if she went some place "liberal" it would turn her into a lesbian liberal and there is clearly no worse thing to be. She had a big showdown with him at the Methodist annual conference. FUN.

I also found out that the third member of our trio, Angela, spends most of her time as an evangelical anti-abortion protestor in California. Like, the kind that puts red tape over their mouth and harasses women on the way into Planned Parenthood clinics and the like. NEAT. STUFF. That's very cool and exciting. In the way that makes me Homer Simpson into the bushes.

So yeah, everything is weird, but I got to see my friend and it turns out we still love each other lots and it's great.

In conclusion you can never go home again but sometimes you escape and when you find someone else who escaped there's a lot of bond there and things can be better than they were and different and good.

Also we took blurry selfies in the parking lot

Oh I'll tell you a whale of a tale

Ok hi LJ whatever I guess sometimes I still need a longer-form place FINE.

1. Readercon went very well. I have a lot of thoughts and a lot of feelings and people said a lot of really nice things about the program and nothing was a full-on disaster, just lots of tiny things that always happen and a few things that were bad but not actually anything to do with programming, so overall very good yes.

2. WORLDCON IS A THING THAT IS COMING VERY SOON. Like aaaaaaaa very soon. Everyone's posting their schedules and I probably should too just to make it easier for friends to find me and stuff. So.

Future of Conrunning and Audiences: Age Diversity, Race and Ethnic Diversity, Gender Parity

Friday 13:30 - 15:00, Fanac Tent (ExCeL)

Conventions are diverse. They occur globally, in all sizes and for specific fandoms, television programmes, genres, actors, books or movies. This diversity rarely carries through to within conventions themselves. In this session we explore some different elements of diversity in fandom. We ask questions including: Do we need conventions for people of different ages or should we try and encourage mixing or let conventions remain as they are and see what happens without interference? How do we encourage people of colour to attend conventions? How do we encourage participation among people of all genders and sexualities? Should we push for gender parity and if so, how? How can we meet the access needs of people with hearing, visual, and mobility impairments? The emphasis in this session will be on "How?" to encourage everyone, but especially those interested in conrunning, to engage with practical solutions to ongoing and difficult questions.

Mary Anne Mohanraj (M), Gareth Kavanagh, Sarah Shemilt, Emily Wagner, Meg Frank

Fresh Perspectives: Comic Books for Young People

Saturday 12:00 - 13:30, London Suite 3 (ExCeL)

Children and young people were well catered to for comics during the heyday of the medium, but the last few decades has seen a narrowing of titles aimed at younger audience... until recently. Are we seeing a new wave of comic books aimed at teens and children? What are the best comic book titles to introduce a new generation to the medium? Is there a fresh perspective sweeping into comics via these titles?

What are the old childhood classics that remain popular, and what are the new stories that will help shape the medium in the 21st century?

And how are new technologies affecting the expectations of this growing audience?

Emily Wagner (M), Inko, Klaus Æ. Mogensen, Smuzz, Cory Doctorow

Reluctant, or Just Not Interested?

Sunday 11:00 - 12:00, Capital Suite 15 (ExCeL)

Are reluctant readers being failed by the education system, or is the publishing industry just not giving them what they want?

Kim Curran, Nickolas Falkner, Ruth Frances Long, William Campbell Powell, Emily Wagner (M)

So those are the times and places you are guaranteed to find me. If you are my friend and need my phone number for texting and whatnot let me know and we will do the thing.

3. There's this Etsy store I fell in love with that does these awesome convertible dresses as cosplay-chic sort of things and listen, just go look, they're cool as hell. Here is me in the Lumpy Space Princess Dress at Readercon. And here are my LSP nails. That night I tied the dress into a different style. So basically? The best thing ever. Oh and mine has pockets because I asked. Costs extra, but POCKETS.

So then after Readercon all I could think about was how much I loved my dress, and how desperately I wanted another one with a new character. And then I remembered going on a twitter rant about Ursula from The Little Mermaid and how basically she's the best ever, and I knew exactly what I wanted. Did the custom request, got it all worked out with the designer, and last weekend took the train down to NYC to pick it up and do a photoshoot for the site.

I can't get over how perfect this is.
A. Pockets, again.
B. I can bustle the purple skirt to knee-length and leave the tentacles down.
C. OR I can bustle the tentacles too.
D. it's heavy as hell but doesn't feel like it when I'm wearing it at all.
E. I. Am. In. Love.

That is all.
I am Mighty!

Readercon Schedule!

Oh, uh, hi Livejournal, how you been?

Right, so. A few years back I started working on the Program Committee for Readercon. Then I joined the Concom. Then I ended up on the Board. Now I'm in charge of the programming this year. It starts tomorrow. Hi. I am quietly freaking out. Everything is ready and good and will be amazing, and people looking at the program have been saying very nice things about how exciting it is! I am going to throw up.

Anyway! I myself am on some panels this year because that's what happens. If you are going and would like to try to find me, MOSTLY I will be a short blur with blue hair, but here are some things I am guaranteed to be at.

Friday, July 11:
12:00 PM CO Welcome to Readercon Kip Manley, Graham Sleight, Romie Stott, Emily Wagner (moderator)
Tropes, "reading protocols," "the real year" of a book, "slipstream" fiction, "fantastika," "intrusion fantasy": Readercon panel blurbs (and hallway conversations) borrow vocabulary from a wide range of sources that new attendees may not have encountered. Veterans of other conventions may also be wondering where the costumes and filkers are. Readercon regulars and concom members provide a newcomer's guide to Readercon's written policies and well-worn habits as well as a rundown of our favorite critical… um... tropes.
This may be extra hilarious because it's my first time doing it. And I made Kip be on it because I thought having a Readercon newbie would help us with our assumptions of what people do and don't know about us.

1:00 PM F Book Recommendations from Professional Readers Adam Lipkin, Sofia Samatar (leader), Liza Groen Trombi, Emily Wagner
Booksellers, librarians, and book reviewers specialize in helping readers find and appreciate books new and old. This panel will let such folks tell you about the recent and upcoming titles they're excited about, and help you discover books you'll likely love. Do you adore Octavia Butler, "Sherlock" fanfic, and Tolstoy ... but don't know what to read next? Let these professionals help you find your next favorite book!
I was going to be good and *not* be on this but then someone dropped out and really, how could I not? This is my actual job.

Saturday, July 12
1:00 PM ENL The Works of Andrea Hairston Ken Houghton (leader), Mikki Kendall, Emily Wagner
In her career Andrea Hairston has worked magic with her ability to create experiences. Although many of her works might be categorized as genre fiction, she's transcended such boundaries again and again. Hairston's work as a playwright and a professor have clearly influenced her stories until it becomes something in which a reader can fully immerse themselves. In Mindscape she wove together a complex tapestry of cross cultural conflict as well as human reactions to change wrought by an unknown outside force. In Redwood and Wildfire, Hairston orchestrated a tale with its own music intermingling with a historical perspective that often goes unheard. Reshaping the expected approaches to science fiction and fantasy, Hairston grounds her tales in traditions beyond the expected European structures. She brings the rich cultural and social diversity of the African diaspora into her work at every turn. And through all of her works shines her talent for theater, for being a true Griot sharing truth via fiction while invoking the magic of language, and the wonder that it can bring to our lives. These elements working in concert provide a consistently high level of reader interaction—and reader delight!—that we can only hope to do justice to in this panel.

3:00 PM G The Booty Don't Lie: A Cheeky Discussion of Butts in Literature Amal El-Mohtar (leader), Mikki Kendall, Julia Starkey, Vinnie Tesla, Emily Wagner
This panel is about butts. Fundamentally divisive, throughout history the humble buttocks has often found itself at the intersection of concerns about gender, sexuality, race, and truly terrible puns. This gameshow-style discussion of butts in literature and popular culture promises to be deep, probing, and entertaining in equal measure; join us in reasoning a posteriori.

And of course at 8pm Saturday night I'll be at the Miscellany! This is a very cool performance we're putting on to benefit worthy causes, so please come and be generous if you can.

Sunday, July 13
2:00 PM F Making Readercon More Accessible Sarah Smith (leader), Emily Wagner
In the best of all possible worlds, in addition to being a safe gathering space, Readercon would also be an accessible and inclusive gathering space for all attendees. What can we each, in our different roles, do to get closer to that state? Join members of Readercon's concom as we talk about what Readercon is doing to improve issues of access for everyone, and as we listen to your concerns and suggestions about what we can do to make Readercon better.

And of course, the feedback session at 3. If you're looking at the full program and cursing me because there are too many things you want to do at the same time, I ASSURE YOU it's as bad or worse for me. When Sunday is over I expect to sleep for about a week.
grammar crisis!

LonestarCon Schedule

Worldcon is like, oh shit, it's next week! I'm on panels and stuff, I don't why, stuff just happens. Go with it. Anyway here is my schedule of official program items I'm on so you know where to find me.

Miss Understanding's Open Forum on Manners for Geek Culture

Thursday 19:00 - 20:00

Ask her panel of experts anything about uncomfortable social issues facing geeks in social situations.

(Presumably my role here is to talk about convention safety and the etiquette of throwing people out.)

Live Action Angry Birds

Friday 11:00 - 12:00

Join Emily Wagner, Stefan Krzywicki, and Crystal Huff in playing a live action version of this popular video game from Finland. Participants are welcome to bring their own pig costumes, if desired. Stuffed Angry Birds will be provided. How many points can you rack up? (Adults Welcome!)

(This is Crystal's fault, obviously. Should be fun!)

Geeky Knitting

Saturday 15:00 - 16:00

Learn how to get involved in geeky knitting! Find out the basics of where to find geeky patterns, what is out there, and where to get materials! Note: Basic knitting skills are required.

Giving Science a Boost with YA SF

Sunday 11:00 - 12:00

How can we YA SF use to boost interest in science, technology, and problem solving and to foster a positive view of the future.

I'll also be at the Glitzy Mayhem roller skating launch party Saturday night, and the Hugos on Sunday night, and if we're friends you should get my cell number so you can text me. I'm really terrible at scheduling meals and stuff ahead of time for cons, but if you want to try to get me to commit to something let me know! Otherwise just grab me and ask if I've eaten if you see me. Wooo? WHO AMONG YOU WILL I SEE THERE?

I'm making a note here, huge success

Ok, so. I'm going somewhere with this, stay with me. A big part of why I became a teen librarian* is because I figured I'm not someone who's ever going to change the world in a big way. I'm not likely to ever run for office or cure any diseases or solve world hunger or anything like that. I thought that I could probably change the world in smaller ways though, and working with teens seemed like a good way to go about that. I'm passionate about stories and reading and books, and I'm passionate about getting marginalized kids the stories where they can see themselves represented, and that is a small and quiet way that I can change the world. There's also the things that happen where I have a conversation with a gay teen and do my best to convince them that no matter what their family says, the god the teen believes in does not hate them for being gay. That's something solid I hang on to when things are rough and I'm not sure why I even like my job anymore.

This past weekend was Readercon 24, the, what, third Readercon I've been involved with? What happened here is that a few years ago rosefox was voted in as Program Chair, and Rose asked me to be a part of the programming committee. After the first year Rose started saying things like "You know I'm grooming you to be my successor, right?" and I would laugh and laugh and say how very silly that was. This year I ended up jumping in with both feet and being way more involved than I'd ever expected. I'm on the ConCom this year, I'm on the Readercon Board, my fiance is involved in both as well, and I was officially Rose's Assistant Program Chair. About halfway through the year I was officially voted in as Program Chair for Readercon 25.

I got into this for a lot of the same reasons I did librarianship. Readercon loves stories. We love the people who make those stories and we love the people who appreciate them with us. What I did not expect, ever, was for convention work to be another way that I can slowly and quietly change the world.

I'm assuming if you're reading this you know about what happened at Readercon last year, and I don't want to rehash it yet again. Part of our response to it all was to publicly state that we were going to run safety-related programming, and we did that by inviting the Boston Area Rape Crisis Center to run some workshops for the concom and at the con for the Readercon membership. We also had several programs on gender and power dynamics, which we've gotten a little bit of flack about. Frankly I knew this would happen, there's always backlash, and that's fine, whatever. If you go read Rose's post about this, you'll see some of the wonderful things we got as well. The fact that there are writers realizing that addressing gender and race and power dynamics in their work can make them a better writer doing more interesting things, that's amazing. There are people who have literally never felt safe at a convention before, and this year at Readercon they felt safe. We had a sign on all of the bathroom doors on the main floor letting our attendees know that the Con Suite bathroom was gender neutral. Such a simple thing, but it lets non-binary people know that a. we know they exist and b. we want them to feel welcome. It's so small, but for someone who hasn't felt welcomed at a con before, that's huge**.

There's been some concern that in our attempts to be more welcoming to marginalized people we're going to end up excluding some of our traditional Readercon base. It's true, we will. Nothing can be for everyone, it just doesn't work that way. It's hugely important to me that we are welcoming marginalized people. If that means we exclude people who would rather be bigoted towards those people, well, I guess I'm not that concerned about it. I was having a conversation with batwrangler this weekend, and talking about my involvement with the Interstitial Arts Foundation, and how I've seen what happens when artists and writers from completely different disciplines end up working off of each other and collaborating together, and it is straight up magic. I think the same is true when we're talking about people with wildly different experiences and backgrounds. If someone doesn't want to even acknowledge those perspectives exist, then yeah, they might have some problems with the way the programming went this year, but I know that looking for and understanding these differences only makes people and their writing stronger. I see it happen all the time, and we're seeing a ripple effect of people gaining new understanding because of our programming. We're seeing people take the safety programming and what we did with our Safety Team responses and look for ways to take that back into their lives, their work, other conventions, and their families. We didn't get everything perfect this year, but it's a goal to strive for, to make Readercon and convention culture as a whole safer. To respond correctly when someone violates our code of conduct, and be willing to to do hard things and stand up and say what's not ok.

Last night Rose pinged me on IM to share some quotes from blogposts, and then said "We're changing the world, you know." I got dizzy. I hadn't thought of it that way but it's true. I love Readercon, I love stories, I love bringing in new people and new perspectives and watching how that changes everything. I love that as program chair next year I get to let Women of Color and queer people and people with disabilities SPEAK FOR THEMSELVES. It's hugely important to me that I'm going to be putting these brilliant people with fantastic voices up in front of a room and letting them tell their stories. They don't need me, the White Lady, to give them a voice. They need ways to let people hear their voices, and that's literally my job. I love this. I can't wait for next year, and I can't believe I actually get to run programming with Kit Reed and Andrea Hairston as our guests of honor. I am so inspired by both of these women and I can not WAIT to see what they do at Readercon 25.

You should join us.

*Confession: the other part about why I went to library school in the first place is because I sort of thought maybe I'd teach high school English, but resisted doing anything about it. Then I was re-watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Giles mentioned his Masters in Library Science and I was like "THAT'S A REAL THING! I forgot!" and the next day I was looking into programs. I didn't go to library school because of Giles, but I sort of did. Worse decisions have been made.

**I'm not claiming we're the only con that does this, but it's still a step forward to changing Readercon culture.
grammar crisis!


AAAAAAAA there is so much to do just at our house and it's THIS WEEK aaaaaaaaa.

*ahem* Ok. So. I will be at Readercon pretty much the entire time. If you need me, I recommend text or email. If you see me I may appear to be a brightly-colored blur on my way to the next thing, especially considering that the program has me wishing I could be in 4 places at once. Please do not let this stop you from stopping me to say hi. Please do invite me to meals, otherwise I may forget. Stefan will also be a bit blurry, I suspect, as he's doing sign shop and treasurer duties.

Umm. What am I forgetting? Probably lots of things. IDK. I'm not on any programming to tell you about, I just want to GO to everything.

Readercon announcments

So uh, if you didn't see, the new (interim) Readercon Board has been announced, and I'm on it (for my sins). The Safety Committee has also been announced, which I am not on, for the very good reason that I'm already taking on a lot this year. I know a lot of the people on that list though, and I trust them to do a good job.

So. Things are interesting.
rainbow dash is fierce


So my re-entry from Worldcon has been rough. I'm trying to briefly break my caffeine addiction, for a lot of reasons, which means the past two days I have been completely without it. Which means lots of headaches and basically wanting to do nothing but sleep. Today though, today I could not do this. Today has been remarkably productive, and I am going to tell you about it so later I don't get into that trap of looking around the house and going "maaaaan I didn't get anything done today and I am the Worst."

-I had to get up super early (ok 6am which is my normal time on work days but I've been getting up at like, 10 or 11 or whenever) so I could take my car to the dealership. Needed an oil change and for them to fix my flat tire, which had a screw in it. This is not as much of a hardship as it may sound, as hanging out at our local Toyota dealership is actually rather pleasant if you can tune out the giant, constantly blaring tv. They have unlocked wifi, put out little pastries and bagels and fresh fruit for the taking, and there's a fancy coffee machine. The kind where you pick packets and throw them in there and it makes you something fancy. Watching people work this machine out for the first time is kind of hilarious. I mean, I feel them, it's confusing for something that tells you exactly what to do. Anyway I broke my caffeine fast because I can not resist the allure of playing with that machine. Also the Milky Way Swirl cappuccino it makes is pretty damn good. Two hours at the dealership meant plenty of time to fuck around on Twitter, plus some time to read the new Fairyland book (catvalente gave me an ARC at Worldcon, yayyyyyyy!) which also meant attempting not to cry in public. If you read the first one, I'm not saying the second one does a recap at the beginning or anything, but something about getting back into that world and hanging out with September again meant Mallow's story came rushing back all at once and I was like "hHHNNNNNNGGGGGGG". Anyway car is taken care of for a bit longer. Need to get a new inspection done and spark plugs replaced soon, but other than that I should be ok for a while.

-On the way home I stopped at the store to get some ingredients to make salsa. Also chips, to eat the salsa.

-Also I stopped at the post office to mail in our voter registration cards, because we hadn't switched when we moved.

-Got home, made a really lovely cooked salsa. I started with this recipe but used a few cups of the cherry tomatoes I grew, also I put in an onion, also I used more garlic. Oh, and two jalapenos instead of one, and also 2 cheyenne peppers. I like it to have *some* heat, jeeze. Anyway it came out ridiculously amazing and good. I ate what wouldn't fit in the jar and put the rest in the fridge, and I have to keep it there at least long enough to let lynxreign taste it. Looking back through that the onion is actually the only thing that went into the salsa that I didn't grow, which I'm pleased by.

-Before the salsa I harvested more cherry tomatoes, sprayed the tomato plants with the anti-mildew stuff again (because *siiiiighh*) and watered the garden.

-Finished my laundry, which means getting stuff out of the dryer and putting it all away, and running a load of the handwash stuff, and getting that load laid out to dry.

-Checked out Unfuck Your Habitat, something I'd been meaning to do for a while. I don't want to follow the tumblr or the twitter because I don't feel like that will be useful for me, but I did download the iPhone app and I think that might be good. I use to try to do FlyLady but I always hated how sanctimonious she is. Also the gendered stuff there really bugs me.

-Once I had the app I went back into the basement, turned on the 20/10 timer, and started working on the yarn closet. We went to the Container Store not too long ago and got me stackable plastic baskets for the closet, so I could finally get my yarn out of the boxes we'd moved it all in over a year ago, and I knew pretty much how it was going to go, and now it's finally getting there. I cleared off the shelves a little at a time so I could add more baskets as I filled them, and I emptied 5 boxes. Not everything from those boxes is put away, there was a lot of sorting into a different box for when I got through with the spinning fiber and the sock yarn (the sock yarn gets 4 of these baskets. There is still more sock yarn, because the special club yarns need to be separate. It's an issue that I am aware of, thank you). This is where the entry got eaten by my bad wifi connection, and I don't remember what else I had to say about the closet.

Anyway, now I'm trying to figure out what the hell is up with my laptop's wifi card, and also typing this, and trying to convince myself that moving to the couch and working on my sock-in-progress is still unfucking *something* and is also actually vital to my mental health and well-being.

Oh and Sunday we're going kayaking in the Boston Harbor and I'm so excited I almost don't know what to do with myself.
rainbow dash is fierce

Readercon public statement

Ok SO. I went from not being ready to talk about the Readercon situation to basically bursting at the seams and not being ABLE to talk about it because of how much wasn't public info yet. Today our Public Statement went live, and I just want to say, BOOM.

If you don't feel like reading, we overturned the Board's decision entirely, enforced the lifetime ban on Rene Walling, apologized and discussed an action plan for moving forward and making Readercon safer. Also the entire Board resigned, but that news was out a few days ago.

No lie, this thing has been hard. Readercon has historically had some problems that we're going to be working on for a while, but even knowing that I can't express the sense of betrayal I had when I heard the Board's original decision on this. Also, I'm really, really bad at taking criticism of something I love or am a part of, and there's very much been a part of me not wanting to hear all the people mad at Readercon, since it so very felt like they were mad at me, even though I agreed with them completely. After I got past that first gut-clenching reaction though, I started seeing what was really going on with that anger and wow, I can't even express how grateful I am for it. There's a lot I'm bad at expressing, apparently. Anyway. Sonya Taaffe said something yesterday about how the anger hasn't so much been "Ugh Readercon we hate you and wish you'd die in a fire", it's been much more "Aw Readercon why are you disappointing me? Why did you have to go die in a fire? The hell?" and yeah, that's exactly it. The fact that so many people are standing up and saying that harassment is bad and harassers should feel bad and people who apologize for or coddle those harassers should *also* feel bad, that's awesome. I like that and I want to see it continue.

I very much have seen the posts and the anger and the petition as support for what rosefox and many of us wanted out of this, and as support for what kind of a con we want Readercon to be. It's been really hard not to get defensive at certain points of this, but we needed the outcry and everything that went with it to get this done the way it should be. At this point I'm drained but also so happy that we can even make this beginning. When the statement went up earlier today and the reactions started coming in I suddenly burst into tears because oh my god, we are really and truly being given a chance here.

The actions of the Board broke the trust of a lot of people, and I know this statement and the actions in it aren't going to fix that for everyone, and that's ok. People are legitimately upset, and it's going to take time to deal with that. Some people may have written us off so completely that they don't want to hear the apology, and that's also ok. Hell, that's part of what this whole thing was about in the first place, right? No one owes us their time or attention, and we don't get to force anyone to hear or accept our apology, and that has to be ok, even if it stings. I'm going to keep doing whatever I can to make Readercon something I can be proud of, and something that no one feels excluded from. It's a process. We aren't finished yet, but I'm very much looking forward to getting closer.